Connecting in core course week

There’s a slew of things that have happened here in the past week alone. We had core course week, where our primary class (Sociology in my case) goes on a trip for 3 days to another country and then looks into their studies for the other three days in Denmark. My course is called Cultural Diversity and Social Capital, where we’re focusing on the increase in immigration to Sweden and Denmark and the uneasy liaison between Turkey and Europe as a whole. So for last week, my class visited refugee organizations, a Swedish political party, talked to a rep from the Immigration Services, and some other groups.

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During the week, my class became closer when we traveled to Sweden. Unlike at Washington and Lee, the community here is much larger and even when put into groups of four or so in class, many students already have friends here or don’t have much time to actually learn the names or personalities of everyone in one class (much less all of them). Therefore, this week was much needed for every course.

I had yet to really connect or get to know too many people in my class, because as the class focuses on international relations and global politics (two things that I know little about), I have little to say and hadn’t spoken much during class. After a long drive from Malmö and lack of a decent lunch, we arrived at a fancy restaurant. Our whole class was very hungry and since this is food we’re talking about, I couldn’t help but be more open. Having found something in common, my classmates and I searched for food while we waited for our pre-ordered entrees to arrive. If we had our own choice, it would have taken longer to order, so the group could only order non-vegan, vegan and specially ordered food.

The restaurant doubled as a hotel that looked like a scene from a Japanese movie with a small bridge over water and everything all in the middle of each square-shaped structure (think Kill Bill vol. 1). I found apples and digestive crackers (yes, made for digestion, but I was hungry) lying around and ate some before we all received Swedish meatballs with boiled potatoes. Lingonberries were present in a sauce form (they tasted like cranberries with more bitterness) and there was also a lot of bread which seems to be a staple of the Scandinavian countries. There was also a sweet sauce on the plate that seemed like gravy.

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Unfortunately, in my hunger, I ate everything pretty quickly and voiced my opinion that it had to be the first of two dishes or so. I wasn’t alone in this notion as many others agreed that they were still hungry. We painstakingly watched as some of our classmates let their half-finished plates of food to be taken away by a waiter. A small ‘Nooo’ escaped my mouth and my classmates laughed and shared in my grief. Food often gets wasted both in Denmark and in Sweden, and I was personally raised to clean my plate and eat whatever was left over, especially if no one else wanted it. In a moment that was entirely reminiscent to my older brother’s, I (after seeing the waiter pick up more filled plates) called out, “‘scuse me! Can I have those?” and the waiter, with a look of disgust at the plates, gave them to me.

My classmates burst out laughing and couldn’t believe I had stopped the waiter. Everyone else at other tables noticed and began to pass me (and my hungry friends) their leftover food. My instructors and classmates laughed and pointed out that it was easily the highlight of the trip. So by the time I left, I realized that 1) I wasn’t hungry anymore 2) This was the first time I had talked so much to my classmates and 3) I had eaten Swedish meatballs, a staple food of Sweden, yet didn’t realize it (they weren’t much to write home about).

We arrived in Gothenburg and stayed at a hostel, my very first and received instructions on what to do in class. We interviewed 15 Danes on the immigration before leaving on the trip, so now we had to interview 15 Swedes. That would be the main task of our time in Gothenburg on the next day. My group isn’t exactly tight-knit, but we get the job done and I respect the members. We got lucky because it was very sunny outside (and it rarely is sunny in Northern Europe), which improved our chances of stopping locals as well as enjoying the city. I got 4 interviews myself and was hypnotized at the nature around me and variety of faces I saw.

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After three hours, my group came together (11 people interviewed) and went off to a cafe only to find another group. We talked a bit and split up from there since our work was basically done for now. I went along with a student named Brian who had shared in my leftovers campaign the night before, and we went off into Sweden, finding a fish market (with a lovely heart shaped salmon cake), a guitar store, a large market reminiscent of Reading Terminal Market in Philly (and Torvehallerne Market in Copenhagen) with wonderfully priced food, and a shirt store. It made for the highlights of my day.

At night, we had dinner together as a class again. My instructors ordered white wine for everyone, but I was tired of getting drinks that I didn’t like (coffee and tea was the usual) and requested something else. There’s one main instructor for my class name Dividia (who’s from Lithuania), but there’s also two others: an American who was visiting (Pam) and an American born Dane who is lesbian and going with us on our trip to Turkey (Deborah). With my crazy antics of the night before, Deborah rewarded me with a special drink: seltzer water and apple juice (AKA sparkling soda). The waiter brought it out and everyone stared in awe as I got both as well as big ice cubes and a clamp for them.

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I felt so sophisticated

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Such was the beginning of an even better dinner where the main dish was fish on potatoes for everyone, with refills on white wine and water. People passed me their fish and laughed as they did so; I could only blush and accept the portions as we continued to laugh and have fun. During the conversation I realized how deep and personal the conversation and connections were. My instructors and fellow students all shared stories from their past and (maybe it was the wine or the hygge) just became more open about everything. It went so far that Brian and I sang Reflection from Mulan and (amidst requests for karaoke night) were offered an A on our finals if we made and performed a song about the immigration problem in Sweden and Denmark. This was said in all serious I’m sure, so by the time we got creme brulee and ice cream for dessert (my first, which was very tasty!) I didn’t want to meal to end. To top it all off, I even found one of those toilettes with a pull chain on it.

After eating and staying at the hostel for awhile, there was a Pub Crawl. I don’t drink, but after interviewing a hostess at the hostel and meeting backpackers on the other side of the building, I felt pumped to go. I wanted to hang around the travelers and got to know one or two of them beforehand. My classmates combined with them and we all went to three pubs. Or should I say most of us because the group got split up once the words ‘karaoke bar’ came up due to popular demand; some just couldn’t wait and ran off to it without even knowing where it was.

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This was not in Sweden, rather it was at my home stay. This is just a reminder to everyone about how much I enjoy salmon.

On the next and final day, I didn’t have any work since I had interview 1/3 of all my group needed, so after much muesli, a small band of students and I went off to explore for our final few hours. We randomly found a fortress as well as a small village that we had been to the day before (but didn’t recognize due to the weather change), entered a college without permission (well Brian and I did), and saw some beautiful snow (imagine the salt on a huge carnival pretzel). To tie it all together, we saw many wonderful sights on the bus, went curling, took the bus onto a ferry back to Denmark (yeah, I couldn’t believe it), almost got left behind on the ferry, and best of all, I finished The Alchemist, a novel that makes me feel a certain type of special and as if I know what I want to do truly.

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Some of my core course classmates

The whole trip was very enjoyable and made me declare Gothenburg to be my favorite city in Sweden due to how close everything was (people and restaurant convenience) and the weather during our days spent there (even when it became snowy). The food made for some awesome laughs and the balance between work and fun leaned towards fun in a fair way. I finally know more about the faces in my class and I know they can say the same about me. I’m quite happy with all that went down and wish it could happen all over again.

(I haven’t mentioned much about just The Trip for awhile which is why this post is jam-packed. I’ll try to fill in more parts of my journey as I go along since so much seems to happen that I can’t write down every little thing or take many pictures either).

Friday: the restart button

In this moment, you’re more aware of your surroundings, and yet, your eyes are closed, you barely feel your body moving, and it’s as if you’re in your own enclosed space. At the same time, you sense the energy of others, hear the bass of the music and laughter of those around you. Your feelings of stress, worry, and annoyance at what happened in the day leave you and are replaced with a feeling of satisfaction and mirth; everyone is enjoying themselves and you smile at where you are and how everything up until this time was worth it.

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A plethora of good things have happened in the span of a week here. I made friends and danced with the best dancer I’ve ever seen in person, found a great place to hangout and meet other internationals, pretended to be a feminist in a talk show, woke up at 5 AM to celebrate a neighbor’s 12 1/2 year wedding anniversary, and spent countless hours with my host family, friends, and neighbors in deep discussion and evening meals.

Sounds good right?

Well, as we all know, for some reason, our minds tend to remember the dark things just as strongly as the light. So here’s the bad:

Apple maps showed a park that I hadn’t seen before and I went to it after one of my classes. It was disappointing (a closed football stadium), so afterwards I trekked far and spent over two hours searching for something interesting in Copenhagen, which I usually find. I was also on my way to meet my friend the dancing man to volunteer and receive a dance lesson from him, but I never found anything and the cold tore away at my happiness. To make matters more gloomy, I didn’t meet the dancing man because he and the others had finished and I felt bad to walk in late and eat with them.

Alongside this, I booked my first ticket (which took a frustratingly long time), the costs of the trip were very high as well as the risks, my mom told me that whatever money I spent was actually taking away from my savings account, which I never knew beforehand, and my laptop is incapable of using the student wifi and may have to be taken to be worked on for a long while (I said no).

In truth, I could describe all the positive experiences of the week here in greater detail than the negative ones, and there were far more good circumstances than bad, but the negative memories stay in mind until some circumstance takes away their impact. That brings me to the point of this post: Fridays.

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As a kid, my Fridays were wonderful: I watched TV for an hour longer with my brothers, friends could sleep over, and best of all, there was no school for the next day. I cherish those memories and the people who made the day wonderful each time. In Denmark, I feel that no one is allowed to sleep on Friday without having finished the day with a good laugh or get together.

In my homestay, my host family always invites over the neighbors on Friday to come eat, drink, and bring their kids for the night. The word hygge comes to mind as I describe this; it’s a Danish word that best translates to a warm, cozy feeling. I invited a friend over and, as she lives in an apartment with American students, she didn’t understand the meaning of this word until the day was done. It comes from people who you connect with, the environment that you’re in, the food and drink in your hand, and many more factors that add to the experience.

This word encompasses every Friday as Danes let loose, allow their kids to finally eat candy (at least in my family!), and enjoy the time off work with others. Yesterday, I dropped all the negative experiences I had and got into a mood where time (over 5 hours) meant nothing and all I wanted was for everyone to stay to keep the experience going. My friend felt the same, and said she would come every weekend if she could. After the night, I thought about the week and myself as a person: I may not travel every weekend, everything doesn’t always work out for me, and it can be tough to find good friends, but we all have problems, and I’m fortunate that it seems that more often than not, my days usually have something special in them to make for a light experience. Fridays have always a guarantee of that.

I found by the end of the gathering, that some of my problems had actually been solved, and the neighbors would be talking to me and my friend much more. Many other people at DIS don’t have this experience and I feel that they miss out on hygge and the magic of Fridays, which is all the more reason to have friends over. So how did I finish the night? By going out dancing with my the dancing man of course!